Trump’s Magnificent Beginning

(So far.). (With a few asterisks.)

     As my assiduous readers know, I've been down on Donald Trump for abandoning the central promises of his 2016 campaign -- a campaign so spectacular that I wrote an homage to it, "In Trump We Trust." In gratitude for the "Mexican rapists" line alone, I was speaking at his rallies a few weeks after he came down the escalator -- or about eight months before Fox News abandoned its "Never Trump" campaign and took away Megyn Kelly's parking spot.

     I will not rehash the horror of what happened after Trump got elected, ditched his immigration plans, and hired his nimrod son-in-law Jared Kushner.

     His defenders, most of whom never cared about immigration in the first place, always told me, He tried! The people around him sabotaged him!

     Yes, but he hired the people around him, including the nimrod. Anyone could see Trump was packing his administration with people who openly opposed his agenda, e.g. Nikki Haley, John Bolton, Mike Pompeo, half of Goldman Sachs and every kiss-ass, phony "four-star general" (meaning they promoted enough girls and transgenders to impress Senate Democrats).

     I was so sure he'd do it again, I tried to formulate a bet this year. The general idea would have been something like: I bet he'll hire Nikki Haley, but not Kris Kobach.

     Luckily, I never made the bet, because boy, was I wrong!* Apparently, the left's maniacal pursuit of Trump over the past four years has had an energizing effect on the man. What MSNBC is calling Trump's plan for "revenge," his supporters call "keeping his promises."

     [*I wrote that before Trump announced his plan to make dog-killer and Afghan refugee-lover Kristi Noem head of the Department of Homeland Security. Please God, don't let him blow this second chance of a lifetime! We’re not getting a third.

Obviously, I also didn’t know about Matt Gaetz, yet, either, but I assume that’s just a gag.]

     In a post on Truth Social this past Saturday, Trump announced that he will not be hiring open-borders neocons Haley or Pompeo. But he will be hiring Tom Homan, his acting director of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), to serve as border czar (even though there's no such title in the U.S. Code, so who the hell knows what that even means).

     Specifically, Trump wrote: "Tom Homan will be in charge of all Deportation of Illegal Aliens back to their Country of Origin.” (Kamala, you might want to jot that down.)

     To give you an idea of what an upgrade this is, Trump's first head of Homeland Security was Gen. John "Trump Is Hitler" Kelly, who started off on the wrong foot, shall we say, when he announced at his Senate confirmation hearing that walls don't work. (We're still waiting for his position on roofs, floors and chimneys.)

     Instead, Kelly's suggestion was to go after the root cause of illegal immigration -- because that always works! Between Kelly and Kamala, perhaps someday we'll get to the bottom of why wretched people from dirt-poor countries want to move to the world's wealthiest, most generous welfare state. It's a real baffler.

     Obviously, Zippy the Chimp would be an improvement over that. But Homan is actually terrific, by which I mean the idea of deporting illegals is not an impenetrable mystery to him. Ditto with Trump's proposed deputy chief of staff, Stephen Miller.

     Now, Trump just needs to put Kobach at DHS -- or at least not Kristi "Welcome Afghan Refugees!" Noem. What's next? “Trump names noted Haitian farm-to-table chef to Cabinet”?

     (Incidentally, one of the smart politicos on Mark Halperin's "2Way" podcast recently described how people vying for the same position in a new administration knife the competition: claim the other guy is "unconfirmable.” Yes, that’s as bitchy as it sounds. Guess how Kobach was kept out of the last Trump administration?)

     Naturally, the media are already imposing conditions on Trump's immigration plans. How cute is that? They've been bleating about our beloved illegals for nine solid years and the result was: a landslide victory for the guy who promised mass deportations and a wall.

     Please tell us more, oh wise media! Say, how do you journalists feel about seeing penises in women's locker rooms?

     This is their moronic demand: Only criminals may be deported! That was the Obama plan: Don't let ICE do its job because we're going to be very picky about which illegals have to be deported "first."

     The media and I have very different ideas about immigration priorities. I say deport Dreamers first. No one would call me a softie on murder, but at least when we catch illegal alien felons, they say, OK, you got me. Dreamers break into our country, then storm congressional offices and television studios, stamping their feet and demanding amnesty NOW. The Karens get deported first.

     I'll have more on Trump's immigration plans in another column, but for now, I just want to say muchas gracias to Alvin Bragg, Letitia James, Jack Smith, Fani Willis and the whole crew at The New York Times and other legacy media for getting Trump so mad that he might actually keep his campaign promises.

     COPYRIGHT 2024 ANN COULTER