Happy Kwanzaa! The Holiday Brought to You by the FBI

It wouldn't be Kwanzaa without this column.

One of this year’s major news stories is how Republicans, like Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida, are trying to BAN the teaching of history -- which, as everyone knows, consists exclusively of lessons about slavery; queer studies; Lewis Latimer, the black inventor of the light bulb (“not a white guy named Edison,” as President Biden said); "mass incarceration”; Jim Crow; Emmett Till; Cleopatra, who was black (according to Netflix, over the outraged objections of the Egyptians); Garrett Morgan, traffic light inventor; Rosa Parks, and so on.

     Well, today is Kwanzaa, so here’s some of that history that liberals are so red-hot for.

     Celebrated exclusively by white liberals, Kwanzaa is a fake holiday invented in 1966 by black radical/FBI stooge Ron Karenga -- aka Dr. Maulana Karenga, founder of United Slaves, the violent nationalist rival to the Black Panthers. Liberals have become so mesmerized by multicultural gibberish that they have forgotten the real history of Kwanzaa and Karenga's United Slaves.

     In what was ultimately a foolish gambit, during the madness of the '60s, the FBI encouraged the most extreme black nationalist organizations in order to discredit and split the left. The more preposterous the group, the better. (It's the same function #BlackLivesMatter serves today.)

     By that criterion, Karenga's United Slaves was perfect.

     Despite modern perceptions that blend all the black activists of the '60s, the Black Panthers did not hate whites. Although some of their most high-profile leaders were drug dealers and murderers, they did not seek armed revolution.

     Those were the precepts of Karenga's United Slaves. The United Slaves were proto-fascists, walking around in dashikis, gunning down Black Panthers and adopting invented "African" names. (I will not be shooting any Black Panthers this week because I am Kwanzaa-reform, and we are not that observant.)

     It's as if David Duke invented a holiday called "Anglika," which he based on the philosophy of "Mein Kampf" -- and clueless public schoolteachers began celebrating the made-up, racist holiday.

     In the category of the-gentleman-doth-protest-too-much, back in the '70s, Karenga was quick to criticize Nigerian newspapers claimed that certain American black radicals were CIA operatives.

     Now we know the truth: The FBI fueled the bloody rivalry between the Panthers and United Slaves. In the annals of the American '60s, Karenga was the Father Gapon, stooge of the czarist police. Whether Karenga was a willing FBI dupe or just a dupe remains unclear.

     In one barbarous outburst, Karenga's United Slaves shot two Black Panthers to death on the UCLA campus, Al "Bunchy" Carter and John Huggins. Karenga himself served time, a useful stepping-stone for his current position as the chair of the Africana Studies Department at California State University at Long Beach.

     The esteemed Cal State professor's invented holiday is a nutty blend of schmaltzy '60s rhetoric, black racism and Marxism. The seven principles of Kwanzaa are identical to those of the Symbionese Liberation Army, another invention of The Worst Generation.

     In 1974, Patty Hearst, kidnap victim-cum-SLA revolutionary, famously posed next to the banner of her alleged captors, a seven-headed cobra. Each snakehead stood for one of the SLA's revolutionary principles: Umoja, Kujichagulia, Ujima, Ujamaa, Nia, Kuumba and Imani. These are the exact same seven "principles" of Kwanzaa.

     When Karenga was asked to distinguish Kawaida, the philosophy underlying Kwanzaa, from "classical Marxism," he essentially said that, under Kawaida, we also hate whites. (And here's something interesting: Kawaida, Kwanzaa and Kuumba are also the only three Kardashian sisters not to have their own shows on the E! network.)

     While taking the "best of early Chinese and Cuban socialism" (mass murder or the seizure of private property?), Karenga said Kawaida practitioners believe one's racial identity "determines life conditions, life chances and self-understanding."

     Or as we know it today, “Lesson plan for K-12 students.” ((Except in Florida, thanks to miracle governor DeSantis.) 

     Kwanzaa emerged not from Africa, but from the FBI's COINTELPRO. It is a holiday celebrated exclusively by idiot white liberals. Black Americans celebrate Christmas.

     Sing to "Jingle Bells":

     Kwanzaa bells, dashikis sell

     Whitey has to pay;

     Burning, shooting, oh what fun

     On this made-up holiday!

     COPYRIGHT 2023 ANN COULTER

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Young [Bimbo] Columnist Had Never Heard Ann Coulter's History Of Kwanzaa

"Ann Coulter's Kwanzaa column is an annual institution, because some stories need to be told every year. (It has nothing to do with one of the hardest working conservative pundits needing a day off once a year.) …

"[T]hat's why it's so funny that Muslim columnist Noor Al-Sibai  has just published a story called Ann Coulter Pens New Racist Screed, Just in Time for Kwanzaa, Raw Story, December 28, 2017. ..."