DARKNESS AT DUNE: THE NIGHTMARE OF MARTHA'S VINEYARD

Asylum Liars Recount Vineyard Ordeal

  News reports about the hardships endured by the Venezuelan illegal immigrants sent by Gov. Ron DeSantis to Martha’s Vineyard are hard to hear.

     One “migrant” told The New York Times that he felt “betrayed” because he didn’t know ... the Florida government had paid for his flight! “If I had known, I would not have gotten involved.”

     It’s one thing for the Venezuelans to accept a free flight from federal taxpayers, but quite another to have Floridians paying for their transportation!

     Another illegal immigrant was crying “uncontrollably” into the phone with his wife, saying “My love, we were tricked. This woman lied to us. She lied.”

     I was really hoping for Honolulu. Plus, The Black Dog was out of avocado toast. THEY LIED!!!

     But this preposterous article apparently took MSNBC by storm.

     MSNBC's Nicole Wallace: “sadistic politicians.”

     Former Sen. Claire McCaskill: How can "someone who professes to be a Christian ... treat these people this way”?

     MSNBC "Republican" Charlie Sykes: Will DeSantis "wake up in the middle of the night and ask, ‘What was I thinking? What did I do?’”

     I have to assume Times reporters are toying with MSNBC:

     I bet I can get MSNBC to somberly report this story.

     Nah, no one’s going to believe anyone was emotionally scarred from spending a day on Martha’s Vineyard.

     Alan Dershowitz has a place there.

     You’re right -- send it to Nicole Wallace.

     Massachusetts Democrat Dylan Fernandes tried to goose the illegals’ martyrdom, saying, “When [the Venezuelans] opened up their phones and put on Google Maps to see where they were and found out that they were surrounded entirely by water -- that was terrifying.”

     This remark was earnestly reported by the Times.

     Hello? Between 70% and 85% of Venezuelans live on the coast. Water terrifies them?

     One fact to bear in mind when listening to the illegals’ tales of woe is that asylum-seekers are the biggest liars on Earth. You, hardworking taxpayer, may not know this, but journalists do.

     The asylum scam has been extensively documented in places like The New Yorker and the Times. (This was back when “journalism” consisted of something more than hourly Trump updates.)

     In a 2011 article, "The Asylum Seeker," The New Yorker described the dramatic performance of one central African asylum-seeker, “Caroline,” who’d flown to America for a wedding and decided to stay.

     Weeping -- just like the Venezuelans in Martha’s Vineyard -- Caroline told a U.S. immigration official: “[Government soldiers] took me by the head and they put my head against their penis. ... They spat on us. They wanted us to do things. ... They beat us up and did horrible things to us ... They forced us to do fellatio and they put objects in our genitals. They stamped on us, they trampled us for three days. I suffered many infections because of the rape. My kidneys got infected.”

     Earlier, Caroline had laughingly admitted to the reporter, “I have never been raped.” But as she performed for the immigration officer, “[t]he tears were flowing now, and she asked [for] tissues.”

     Asylum-seekers like the Venezuelans learn their lines by memorizing scripts given to them by immigration activists and lawyers (all paid for by you, taxpayer). A former immigration lawyer told The New Yorker that there are persecution scripts for each country. “There's the Colombian rape story” he said. “They all say they were raped by the FARC. There's the Rwandan rape story, the Tibetan refugee story. The details for each are the same."

     It is beyond certain that the Venezuelans are spouting lines being fed to them by activists. (Though, to be fair, a fake violent gang rape does not remotely compare to the fake tragedy of being flown to Martha’s Vineyard.)

     A law clerk (again: paid for by you) working for Caroline had proposed, “Why don't you say you were circumcised?" A Russian woman claiming she was persecuted in Russia for being gay openly told her immigration attorney, “I’m not gay at all. I don’t even like gay people.” That last one was quoted in a 2011 Times article on the gigantic scam of asylum cases, "Asylum Ploys Play Off News To Open Door."

     From top to bottom, the entire asylum process is staffed by known liars who hate our country -- the third-world invaders, their lawyers, the activists, as well as the government officials overseeing the “Wreck America” program.

     Displayed prominently in the immigration office visited by Caroline was a poster for Cuba’s Communist Party. Why go to Latin America to fight for communism and risk ending up in a Peruvian prison for 15 years, like Lori Berenson? You can fight for communism right here at home, approving asylum applications!

     In fact, the asylum officer and Caroline could have shared a good laugh about how much America sucks. While applying to stay in the U.S. permanently (with full welfare benefits), she carped, “I don't know why I didn't just go back. They are racists and xenophobes here."

     We ought to make all immigrants sign a form upon entering our country: I hereby acknowledge I am not descended from American slaves and am not allowed to complain about “racism.”

     The good news is that, at this rate, soon there will be no difference in our country and the second-rate countries these people are fleeing. No point to applying for asylum after that! We'll all be exactly the same. The bad news is, there will be no country left where Americans can seek asylum.

     COPYRIGHT 2022 ANN COULTER