107 SECONDS TO PARADISE

A Complete Unknown: The Dems' Dream Candidate

With Zorhan Mamdani sailing toward victory in New York City’s mayoral race, I’m reminded that I still haven’t reviewed Kamala Harris’ book “107 Days” long after the raw excitement of her book tour.

I’ve read the entire book, except for the part after the title. Her thesis is that the only reason she lost to Donald Trump is because of the brevity of her campaign. Yes, if only voters had seen more of her!

In fact, Kamala lost because she’s a callow, arrogant imbecile with zero judgment, Cro-Magnon-like stupidity, entirely unwarranted regal arrogance and a gobsmacking difficulty speaking simple English. Even 107 seconds might have been too much exposure to that.

Mamdani’s runaway popularity disproves her thesis but confirms mine, which is that the less time a Democrat is in the public eye, the better off he is, whereas the more time a Republican is in the public eye, the better off he is.

Andrew Cuomo thought he was nailing Mamdani at the last mayoral debate, when he said, “You wouldn’t even know how to kill a bunch of nursing home residents with COVID!” Wait, no — that’s not what he said. He said:

“You have never had a job. You’ve never accomplished anything. There’s no reason to believe you have any merit or qualification for 8.5 million lives. You don’t know how to run a government, you don’t know how to handle an emergency,” and so on.

Yes, exactly. That’s why the betting markets currently give Mamdani better odds of being the Democrats’ 2028 presidential nominee than Sen. Cory Booker of New Jersey, Sen. John Fetterman of Pennsylvania, Gov. Jared Polis of Colorado or Gov. Phil Murphy of New Jersey, among others.

On the other hand, actually becoming mayor is about to blow any chance Mamdani had of securing the nomination. Ideally, people would vote electronically the moment after Democrats settle on a candidate, before any questions can be asked. (Kamala seems nice.) That’s why liberals keep moving up the date of early voting.

The Democrats’ most popular presidential candidate in recent memory was Barack Obama, who, like Mamdani, was being talked about as presidential material before he’d even won his first major election. He announced his presidential run after less than two years in the U.S. Senate (and was said to be wondering about when he’d win his first Nobel Peace Prize already).

Or consider the two major turning points in the 2024 campaign: the Trump-Biden debate and the Vance-Walz debate. Neither Democrat benefited from the exercise.

Trump is Trump, but for the first time in five years, the public got to see Biden without his teleprompter. Voters watched in horror, almost as speechless as Biden was that night.

The vice presidential debate finally allowed voters to see Sen. J.D. Vance-Gov. Tim Walz outside the carefully curated clips assembled by our propagandistic media.

Thanks to talented TV production teams, the media had nearly succeeded in convincing us that Walz was a he-man, super-cool football coach, while Vance was “weird” — a word applied to him approximately 1 million times before the debate. Then a 90-minute unscripted event exploded all their hard work.

It turned out Walz’s only shot at appearing palatable to a national audience required never allowing people to see him, while Vance’s debate performance marked the most dramatic public perception change since Clark Kent stepped out of a phone booth.

The Democrats’ problem is that their base and the media (also their base) are insane. About a third of their voters are of the “no English” or face-tattoo variety. At some point, nearly every Democrat is forced to do something repellant to normal people to impress their cretinous voters.

The media can hide the really embarrassing stuff, but only for so long. That’s why there are so many surprise revelations about Democrats after they’ve already become the nominee.

Here are a few of those 11th-hour revelations:

As governor of Massachusetts, Michael Dukakis, on his own initiative, gave first-degree murderers weekends off, leading to the release of Willie Horton, who proceeded to break into a Maryland couple’s home, tie up and torture the homeowners for 12 hours, including repeatedly raping the woman. Still, he refused to reconsider the policy.

As governor of Arkansas, Bill Clinton was a one-man sexual assault machine, aided by his pimp state troopers. (In those days, “Arkansas state trooper” had the same comical effect that “district court judge” does today.) He may be the only governor ever to contemplate calling out the National Guard just to round him up some chicks.

As a politically minded anti-war activist, Sen. John Kerry lied about his service in Vietnam, lied about American war crimes and lied about throwing away his medals. He even lied about being Irish! Until he ran for president, Kerry was just another Boston Irish politician married to a billionaire ketchup heiress.

By contrast, the media give anal probes to any Republican considering running for dogcatcher. The only alleged scandals that ever emerge during their presidential campaigns are more accurately described as “media dirty tricks.”

Mitt Romney had all but wrapped up the 2012 Republican presidential nomination when The Washington Post ran a 5,000-plus-word story about a “troubling” prank he’d played at age 17 on a prep school classmate. (Speaking of “troubling” pranks, how many women did Bill Clinton rape again?) It seems young Mitt led a group of boys to snip off another kid’s long hair. What made it a fascist white supremacist neo-Nazi attack is that the classmate was ... gay!

At least we had a new statute of limitations on bad behavior by a politician: 47 years. Back in Ted Kennedy’s day, a senator could drown a girl, put on a clean suit and run for president 11 years later.

Five days before the 2000 election, a local news station in Maine broke a story about presidential candidate George W. Bush from 1976. Apparently, a quarter-century earlier, he’d been arrested for a misdemeanor DUI in Kennebunkport, Maine. In ecstasy, the media did a forensic analysis on every statement he’d ever made about his drinking. (Their sad conclusion: no lies.)

Four days before the 1992 election, independent counsel Lawrence Walsh indicted former top Reagan official Caspar Weinberger for the all-purpose crime of giving a false statement, implicating President George H.W. Bush in the process. This solved newspaper editors’ problem of what to plaster all over their front pages days before the election. Bush was safely defeated and the indictment was dismissed.

The only truly embarrassing fact to come out at the last minute about a Republican was the Access Hollywood tape sprung on Trump in 2016. Of course, that was about unseemly behavior back when he was a Democrat.